I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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