Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You can't special order awesome
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
