i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
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did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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