Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
