Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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