I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
