How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
