Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
