I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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