I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
