Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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