i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
