what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
