Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
