The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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