We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
