Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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