i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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