doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
