So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
