nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize