Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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