I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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