Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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