she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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