My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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