I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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