Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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