I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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