that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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