I just made out with a guy for $7.
I need help removing her.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dear god my vagina.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
