So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
