wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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