I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
