you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish there were birth control emojis
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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