gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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