His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize