If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again