At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes