I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize