The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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