I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just threw up on my dentist
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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