i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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