her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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