If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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