I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
