She is in my trunk
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
