I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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