Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
