my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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