I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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