when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
