whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
