So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize