i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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