She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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