I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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