Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
