The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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