the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
