I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
