I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
