you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
