Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
